


Invisible

by WeWillSpockYou



Category: McKirk - Fandom, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bullying, Happy Ending, Injury, M/M, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-25 11:04:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1646339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeWillSpockYou/pseuds/WeWillSpockYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic inspired by Hunter Hays' Invisible.</p>
<p>This is a fic about Jim dealing with being bullied. There are no first hand scenes of what happens to him and Jim won't tell Bones what words were used.</p>
<p>A note on the story: The words that Bones speaks to Jim in italics are lyrics from the song. I have included a link to the music video if you are interested in hearing it for yourself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Invisible

Jim was huddled in a ball on the floor at the foot of his dorm bed. Bones had heard him crying from the hallway sending a bolt of cold fear surging through his body. His hands were shaking so badly he mis-keyed the code to the dorm room door three times before it finally swished open. “Jimmy?” Bones yelled, sprinting into the bedroom.

“Fuck, Jim.” Bones hit his knees in front of his friend and passed his hands over as much of him as possible checking for injuries. Jim’s face was pillowed on his arms which were resting on his pulled up knees. Jim was trying to make himself as small as possible, not an easy feat for a man who was over six feet tall. Bones placed his hands on Jim’s head, gently urging him to look up, but Jim kept his face down.

“Jimmy, nod if you’re physically hurt. Please. Let me help you.” Bones soothed a hand through Jim’s hair to rub the back of his neck.

Jim sobbed harder. He didn’t deserve a friend like this, didn’t deserve friends at all. Bad things happened to the people who were the closest to him. When he was able to breathe again he was going to tell Bones that very thing and offer to move to a new dorm. He wasn’t fit for polite company and couldn’t stand to drag his only friend down with him.

“C’mon Jim,” Bones whispered, turning himself so he was sitting alongside Jim, rather than being hunched in front of him. He wasn’t a young man anymore and crouching down was making his knees bark in pain. He put his arm around Jim and pulled him closer. “Nod or shake your head for me.”

Jim managed a quick head shake and Bones relaxed slightly. He leaned his head against Jim’s, content for the moment to hold him through the worst of the storm. This was the second time in the past week  Bones had found Jim in this position. He had a feeling that if Jim’s bulky body could fit under the low dorm bed, that’ s where he would have found him. Bones felt rage rear up inside him and took a shakey breath to quiet the beast inside him wanting to strike back at those who had dared to do this to Jim.

Jim felt himself start to relax against Bones’ side. This felt so good. Bones always knew what Jim needed to feel better and the thing that helped most in situations like this was touch. Jim dug deep trying to find his balance again as he tried to swim upstream against the hateful tide of voices in his own mind. He struggled to get control over his emotions and felt like a failure when his tears continued to flow.

“Tell me.” Bones murmured into his hair.

Jim shook his head no. He couldn’t tell Bones what happened today, the words, the ugly words. Bones was too good to hear words like that. Plus Jim couldn’t take the chance that the look in Bones’ eyes would show that he agreed with Jim’s tormentors.

“C’mon darlin’.” Bones urged, kissing the sunshine of Jim’s hair. “Let me see those baby blues.”

Jim lifted his head off his arms and turned his face to look at Bones. Jim could see the cold fire ignite in Bones’ green eyes. He didn’t want this, didn’t want Bones to be upset for him, but the mark on his face was impossible to hide and he hadn’t learned how to use the dermal regen yet. He was going to have to learn to do it, so he could steal Bones’ regen when he moved out. He needed to learn to take better care of himself, couldn’t rely on anyone to do that for him. He would miss Bones, miss the friendship they had forged over these months. But it had to be done, for Bones’ sake.

Bones lifted Jim’s battered face in his hands, turning his head to the side so he could get a better look at the damage. His fingers probed as gently as possible along Jim’s orbital bone and then walked with the same care over his cheek bone. “Nothing’s broken.”

Jim nodded and then pulled his face out of Bones’ comforting touch. He would miss Bones’ hands and the solace they provided.  “Gonna move out, Bones.” He said, not making eye contact with his best friend.

“Are ya ,now? Sick’a livin’ with such a sour puss all the time, huh?”

“Sick of dragging you down with me, Bones.”

“I’m pretty strong, ain’t no one pulling me down, kid.”

“I’m no good Bones, not a good friend, not a good anything.”

Bones pulled him closer, “ _Crowded hallways are the loneliest places for outcasts and rebels  
or anyone who just dares to be different_.”

“Well, I’m an outcast all right.” Jim ducked his face back onto his arms.

“We’re all we got, Jimmy. Just you and me.”

Jim shook his head. He couldn’t let himself believe the partnership Bones offered was possible. The longer Jim stayed, the easier it would be for Bones to see who he really was inside.

“Jim, _you've been trying for so long to find out where your place is_ , and what I’m tryin’ to tell ya is that you’ve found it, right here.”

He shook his head and felt Bones pull his face back up to meet his own. Kind green eyes bore into his watery blue ones. “Can’t let you see the real me, Bones. You’ll leave too.”

Bones knew this was coming. Jim’s fear of being abandoned was so great he needed to be the one with a foot out the door, ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble or conflict. It’s why all of Jim’s relationships only lasted one night. No time for anyone to see the man behind the blue eyes and famous last name. “So you’re fixin’ to leave me before I can leave you, is that it? You think I’m that shallow, Jim?”

“No, Bones, but everyone’s right, I’m just a fuck up; a charity case.”

Bones felt icy fingers wrap around his heart and squeeze. He needed to punch something. Fuck, ‘do no harm.’  “Bullshit, Jim. _Those words cut deep but they don't mean you're all alone and you're not invisible._ I’m right here and I always will be. I gotcha back, just like you have mine.”

It was a dream come true for Jim to hear those words and he knew Bones meant them, for now. “I can’t take that risk.” Not again, he silently added to himself.

“ _Hear me out, there's so much more to life than what you're feeling now, someday you'll look back on all these days and all this pain is gonna be invisible._ Stay with me, Jimmy and together we’re gonna be unbreakable, unstoppable. _If you look past this moment you'll see you've got a friend waving a flag for who you are and all you're gonna do,_ if you’ll just let me be there for you. Can you trust me, Jim, even just a little bit?”

He wanted to believe what Bones was offering, wanted it so much his heart clutched hard in his chest. Maybe he’d stay for a month and then see where things were.  Yeah, he could do one month. He nodded his head. “I trust you, Bones. I’ll give it another month.”

Bones felt the icy fist crushing his heart ease back. One month? He could work with that. “Good, now why don’t you hop in the shower and I’ll call for Chinese, crab rangoon and eggrolls sound good?”

“Throw in an order of beef and broccoli and you gotta deal.”

“Jim Kirk ordering vegetables, I don’t believe it.”

“Someone’s gotta take care of you, old man.”

 

The next several weeks passed quietly, with only a minor incident or two along the way. Bones noticed Jim was getting stronger, had more confidence in himself every day. He had worried himself sick when the third week of Jim’s one month reprieve rolled around. Bones had been nervous and edgy, unable to sleep for more than an hour at a time, afraid every dammed time when he woke up that Jim would be gone. Bones lost ten pounds that week and drank about ten gallons of coffee. When the morning of the last day of the month dawned dark and stormy, Bones opened his eyes to see Jim asleep in his bed, his hands balled into fists beneath his chin. Bones felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He buried his face in his pillow and thanked whatever benevolent being who had allowed him to keep Jim in his life for a little while longer.

The peace was shattered in spectacular fashion only a week later. Bones was working the overnight shift in the ER when he received a call out from an ambulance en route, twenty-four year old man who had been found unconscious and bleeding, with a left femur break. Bones met the medics at the bay door and almost fell to his knees when he saw the unconscious face of Jim Kirk.  He took a few deep breaths to steady his nerves as he switched gears from concerned friend into Doctor mode.

“What happened to him?” Bones called out to the medics.

“Victim is James Tiberius Kirk. He was found unconscious in the back alley behind The Red Panda. He is suffering from multiple lacerations and contusions, the most severe of which is on the back of his head, it’s possible he has a concussion. His left leg is covered in bruises and his left femur is snapped clean through. If I had to guess, I’d say someone stomped on this poor kid.”

Bones nodded, he had come to a similar conclusion himself. He would also have Jim scanned for other signs of internal injuries. “He wake up at all?”

“No, Doc McCoy, kid never moved once.”

 

Several hours later, Jim lay in wrapped up like a mummy in his hospital bed. It had been a long and laborious process to set the bone of Jim’s left leg and Bones had to call in the Osteopath on call to do it for Jim. He didn’t trust his skill enough in this area to do it himself. While his leg was being worked on, Bones scanned Jim for signs of internal damage and found none. The knot on the back of Jim’s head was worrisome, but there was nothing to be done about that now. He’d know more when Jim woke up.

Jim felt like his head was stuffed with cotton. The rest of him felt like he was trying to wade through wet concrete. His eyes seemed to be glued shut and he used all of his strength to pry them open. He saw Bones mop of shaggy brown hair. He reached out a hand to tangle in the silky strands of hair.

Bones snapped awake when he felt Jim’s fingers in his hair. He opened his eyes to see Jim staring at him, his blue eyes glazed from the anesthesia. He didn’t want to move. He liked the feel of Jim’s fingers rubbing themselves against him. He reluctantly sat up, reaching for Jim’s hand as he did, so their connection wouldn’t be broken. He brushed the fingers of his other hand against Jim’s face and Jim shut his eyes and leaned into Bones’ touch.

“You know who you are?”

“Jim Kirk.”

Bones let out the deep breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “Who am I?”

“Annoying ass roommate.”

“Close enough Jim. What happened tonight?”

“Thirsty.” Jim’s voice was raspy, like he hadn’t used it in days.

Bones brought him some water and a straw to sip it through. “Not too much now.” Bones cautioned.

Jim remembered everything. His head felt like someone kicked it in, which was true enough, but he didn’t even have enough luck to have a concussion and memory loss. He could see it all, clear as day. “Trouble at the bar.” He hoped that would be enough to get Sherlock Bones off the case.

“That was pretty plain when I saw the side of your face and your broken leg. You can do better than that, Jimmy. I can see it in your eyes. You remember everything.” Bones had watched as emotions had played across Jim’s bruised face. He’d seen recognition, anger, fear and what he thought was regret.

“Guys started some shit and I walked away, they jumped me in the alley.”

Fear and anger tore through Bones’ entire body, he felt a surge of adrenaline hit his blood stream and burn in his fingertips. “How many, Jim?” Bones’ voice was a growl.

Deciding truth was the way to go here, Jim answered, “Three.” He prayed that Bones wouldn’t ask for names.

Bones nodded and sank his weary head back onto Jim’s bed. He didn’t want Jim to see the tears flowing from his eyes or the murder etched inside them. He felt Jim bring their linked hands to tangle again in his hair. Bones opened his eyes to see Jim staring at him.

“Thanks for being here for me, Bones.”

“Always be here for ya, kid.” Bones gave him a smile.

“Tried so hard not to let what they said get to me. I barely flinched when they called me a-” Jim sighed

Bones picked his head up. “I’ve seen you grow so much in the last few weeks, Jim. You’re stronger and more confident in yourself.”

“That’s fine Bones, but that confidence didn’t help much when I was getting my ass handed to me.”

“They weren’t able to break you, Jimmy, that’s what made them come after you. You’re not the same easy target you were a few weeks ago. _So your confidence is quiet. To them quiet looks like weakness, but you don't have to fight it, 'cause you're strong enough to win without a war._ ”

“Don’t feel so strong now, Bones.”

“Lucky for you, I got plenty of strength to spare.” Bones leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss to Jim’s wrecked lips.

Jim froze when Bones’ lips pressed against his own. His stomach dropped like that time he’d ridden the Dragon Coaster back at the Iowa State Fair when he was a kid. When he felt Bones start to pull away he reached his free hand up to cradle the side of his face. “Don’t go, Bones.” He whispered and brought their lips back together. It was sweet and full of everything a first kiss should be full of, tenderness, excitement and maybe a little love. Jim dropped his head back to his pillow when he felt the rest of his strength drain from him.

“I’m right here, Jim. You sleep.”

“Stay with me, Bones.” Jim whispered as he fell back to sleep.

 

Jim’s physical wounds healed quickly, but it was the damage done inside Jim’s own mind that took the longest to heal. Jim had been quiet and a bit more withdrawn than he was before, but Bones just figured Jim was trying to come to terms with it all in his own mind.

They hadn’t talked about the kiss, nor had they repeated it in the weeks following Jim’s stay in the hospital.  Bones was torn. He didn’t know if he should sit down and talk with Jim about what had happened or if he should shove him back against a wall and kiss him senseless.

“Bones, you awake?” Jim whispered into the darkness surrounding their beds.

“Yup, can’t sleep.”

“Me either.”

“What’s on ya mind, Jim?”

Jim sighed. He had run this conversation through his mind a hundred times in the last few weeks. Now that his moment was upon him, he had no idea what to say. “Was that just a pity kiss or did it mean something to you?”

“Jim, I-” It felt wrong to have this conversation with Jim across the room and no lights turned on so he could read the emotion in Jim’s eyes.

“That’s what I thought, Bones.” Jim bundled deeper under the covers and turned over, putting his back to Bones.

Fuck. “No Jim, that’s not what I meant, come here.”

Jim stayed huddled under the blankets. The only thing worse than a pity kiss was a half-assed explanation of said kiss.

“Jimmy, please.” Bones’ voice wobbled a bit on the ‘please.’

Jim heard the rustle of the covers as Bones pulled them back and the sound of Bones sliding himself over to make room. Jim got up and slid into bed with Bones.

Bones wasted no time in grabbing Jim and pulling him across his chest. “No Jim.” He whispered into the darkness. “That kiss didn’t mean ‘something’ to me. It meant everythin’.” He felt Jim tense against him and he couldn’t figure out if he’d given the answer Jim wanted to hear so he wrapped his arms a little tighter around Jim and waited for Jim to figure things out for himself.

Jim didn’t know how to respond to Bones. Every single time he had this conversation with himself in his head, Bones had told him it was just a spur of the moment thing to offer comfort or something. Confronted with the answer Bones had given him, he was unprepared to respond. He just let Bones hold him as his mind whirled on at warp five without him.

Bones was commanding his brain to record and save everything about this moment from what Jim’s hair smelled like, to the way Jim’s fingers were petting the skin over his heart. He had waited so long for this moment and he knew he could very well be broken when it ended and Jim went back to his own bed.

His mind was still spinning with the ramifications of Bones’ reply. “Meant everything to me too, Bones.” Jim’s words were barely audible and he wasn’t sure Bones had heard him until he felt warm fingers urging his face upward.

Bones kissed Jim with all of the pent up desire, pain and love he had been carrying around with him for months. Every moment he spent watching Jim struggle had nearly broken him. This moment made all of his own pain more bearable. His lips pressed softly against Jim’s  and he felt Jim’s hand slide away from his franticly beating heart up his chest and neck to tangle in his hair. They each captured the other’s sigh with their own lips. Bones took advantage of Jim’s parted lips to slip his tongue inside Jim’s mouth.

Jim thought he’d gone to heaven when he felt Bones’ velvety tongue slide against his own. He shifted to the right and rose up enough to straddle Bones, he hitched his pelvis forward and whined high in his throat when his own erection brushed against Bones’.

“Thought you weren’t interested, Bones.” Jim whispered into his neck.

“M’sorry, Jim. I shoulda been more clear, not hid my light under a basket or something like that. Nana McCoy always used to tell me, ‘ _Every heart has a rhythm. Let yours beat out so loudly that everyone can hear it.’_ Guess I shoulda listened more to her and not to my foolish pride. Didn’t want you to reject me Jim, so I just clammed up and shut down.”

“So, we’re doing this, we’re together?”

Bones swallowed past the lump in his throat. All he could do was nod his head, afraid that if he tried to speak he start to cry.

“Need to hear you say it, Bones.”

He took a deep breath, not so easy with one hundred eighty pounds of Jim Kirk on his chest. “Yeah, Jim, we’re doin’ this.”

“What about our friends, are we out to them?”

“I want everyone to know about us, Jim.”

“You understand what that means? That you’ll be a target too, because of me.”

Bones rolled quickly to his side, dropping Jim onto his back. Bones covered Jim’s body with his own. “Just means those fuckers will have to come through me if they wanna get to you, Jim and when they do, they’ll be leavin’ with fewer teeth than they had to start with.” Bones bent his head and captured Jim’s lips with his own. His promise was sealed with a kiss.

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiUqgL5urWc>

**Author's Note:**

> I was driving back from lunch on Thursday when Invisible by Hunter Hays came on the radio. I had never heard this song before and it stopped me dead in my tracks. My first thought when I heard these words was that this was something Bones would sing to Jim, guitar slung across his lap, singing low and slow in his sweet bluesy voice. As the song went on, I realized this wasn’t something Bones would sing. It was something Bones would SAY! 
> 
> I struggled with this fic in so many ways. The biggest one being what was happening to Jim and why. When I started writing this on Thursday night it started coming to me fast and furious, until I started sticking in the words that people had been saying to Jim. The minute those words hit my notebook the story vanished from my mind. No word of a lie, it felt like I had literally lost my mind. There’s no coming back from that, so I put down my pen. I woke up, as I so often do, around 3am to go to the bathroom and Jim’s sweet voice was whispering that this could be done without the ugly words. When I woke up, this story was sitting fully formed in my mind and ready to go. 
> 
> I am including the link to the music video in case you are interested in hearing the song. This was another struggle for me as you will see when you meet the little blonde boy in the Captain America tee shirt. Tell me if he breaks your heart too and if he made you think of baby Jim.


End file.
